not just yet

“…and all at once, summer collapsed into fall.”  – Oscar Wilde

I dread autumn. Sure, it’s incredibly beautiful, especially where we live, and there are always things to love at any given time, but autumn, anymore, means the end of the growing season and the inevitable onset of the long winter. It’s possible that in the next couple of years as things really get rolling around this farm, I will gratefully and exhaustedly flop down into a chair with a wool blanket, a book, and a cup of tea when winter rolls in, and never move until spring. But for now, for this moment, I dread autumn. It’s already whispering what is to come with its shorter days and the lowering arc of the sun. Temperatures are changing and the rain drops just a little chillier.

I acknowledge that it’s a bit early for a 2019 wrap up post, but just so you know, that’s exactly how my mind feels right now. Like a hysterical child pitching a fit on the floor because she doesn’t WANT TA.

You know what I do WANT TA though? The next two weekends. Why? BECAUSE I have two of the most amazing weddings coming up and planning for these things has honestly been one of the most surprising experiences. I freaking love this. The problem solving and creative thinking and logistical planning and scenario running. Love it. And that’s not even the actual fun making the flowers and installations part.

Also, it’s making one particular part of all of this a lot less terrifying. I don’t people well anymore. Something broke in me a while back and the ease with which I met new people and engaged in new experiences disappeared. Not only disappeared, but turned 180 degrees and became something torturous. I’ll spare you the details of it (for now. winter is long, after all, and there might be nothing else to write about), but suffice it to say that late-onset-social-anxiety-and-persistent-crap-self-esteem™ have made it pretty hard to get past the regular, run of the mill imposter syndrome that many people, and most female small business owners have. But these two upcoming events have made it so much easier for me to reach out and say “Hi, I’m Colleen, and I’d love to buy some of your flowers because my dumb field isn’t going to bloom until October at this rate.”

So look. It’s late. I’ll finish whatever this ramble is and get some sleep. You should too. The rapid fire round goes like this: the Lisianthus grew and bloomed in their laundry baskets and the last of them will be used this weekend at the wedding. Tomato hornworms are actual horrors. Monarch caterpillars and subsequent butterflies are not. Bittersweet is a real pain in the you know what. Under the layers of neglect around this farm are absolute wonders and we’ll keep uncovering them until winter pries the fields from my fingers.

My flowers are just starting to bloom which is taking the edge off of autumn. I’ve ordered my tulips and have found my stored daffodils bulbs. And I’m booking 2020. I’ve got a few weekends booked already, but I would love to work with you on your flowers, so please be in touch. No matter how small or large, let’s talk! And I can’t wait to share photos from the next couple of weekends with you.

One Comment

  • Nancy Curtin

    Hi Colleen,

    I’m so thrilled to see what you’re up to now! Gorgeous flower arrangements! Everything you touch becomes beautiful, so I’m sure this will be a big success.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *