I know I’ve written about the daily risks of life as a musician, a freelancer, and an artist. I’ve written about the endless resistance and pervasive culture of “no” or “prove it.” It can be pretty disheartening, I think for all of us, to encounter that everyday amount of resistance. It leads us to build communities, support systems, friendships, and relationships where the culture is one of “yes” and “how can I help you make that happen?”
Fear is a powerful friend. Sometimes it’s not a great friend, but it did develop for a good reason. It just gets a little out of control. And its sister, Shame, is usually found lurking around. I’m no Brené Brown so I’m not going to attempt to discuss fear and shame in depth, but I will assert that there is a tangible and real fear/shame destroying power found in “yes.”
I think I started this journey (I wish I could find a word that suited me better to imply this same concept) in response to my experiences up to this point. What has developed is a genuine, laser-focused interest and deep inspiration. I needed that. And it happened because of the “yes” that I was met with at nearly every point. Yes, you should start to grow things! Yes, you can absolutely do it. Yes, here are some seeds that made me think of you. Yes, you should grow dahlias, here are some tubers to add to your collection. Yes, the flowers are beautiful. Yes, we value them and would love to purchase from you. Yes, your design aesthetic is lovely.
I am honored to have the opportunity to design flowers for two weddings this autumn. One, the wedding of two, wonderful, dear friends is happening in Maine and the other in Washington State. We were going over some details last night about the bouquet and buttonholes and various elements and had a funny, light moment of recognizing the power of yes. Yes, you are allowed any little thing you want if it brings you joy (and doesn’t hurt other people or yourself). Yes, you have permission to have a massive bouquet if you want! Yes, you have permission to ignore pointless, tired expectation! Yes, you are worth the time, money, thought, effort, investment. Yes, you are worthy of love and joy and happiness.
I think part of my heart and head listened in on that conversation as well, because today, I took a risk and inquired about a piece of property a little bit out of town that is possibly open to a farm sharing situation. It scares the ever loving crap out of me, but I did it anyway.
There is real power in yes.
I’ll keep you posted.